The ceremony? Check. ✔︎
The flowers? Check. ✔︎
The honeymoon? Check. ✔︎
The guest list? Check. ✔︎
The wedding registry? Check. ✔︎
The marriage? Wait… what?
As a marriage coach, please hear me on this. The best time to create healthy habits for your marriage is when you’re engaged! The smartest couples know that marriage is amazing but also requires some effort. In order to have your happily ever after, be sure to implement these 5 healthy habits. And we promise you’ll see results if you stick to them.
It’s not enough to know how much you might love your soon to be spouse, you need to communicate that as often as possible. Words are extremely powerful. Practice The 60 Second Blessing. Simply take 60 seconds each and share all the wonderful characteristics of your partner. This can be done over the phone, via text, or through notes, but it’s most powerful when done in person. Come on… who doesn’t have two minutes a day?
Maybe your partner says something critical, something off handed that doesn’t quite land the right way. Our natural response is to retaliate or shut down. This can easily put couples in a toxic cycle of tit for tat. Trust us, we ran on that treadmill for years.You can actually stop these tiffs in their tracks by simply reminding yourself of the amazing qualities of your partner. Jot them down on a post-it, your phone, or somewhere handy and pull them out as a reminder that you’re on the same team.
You must cultivate a sense of excitement and anticipation about the future, which helps carry you through those dry seasons or even the stressful wedding planning. Couples who stop sharing common goals together often drift apart and become more like roommates than lovers. Talk about what you both want to accomplish in the first year of your marriage both with work and personally.
Own Your Mistakes.
We all make mistakes. When you apologize, it shows that you are willing to take responsibility for your actions in the relationship. Ask your partner frequently if there is anything you need to apologize for in the relationship. This gives opportunities to face conflict when you are not in the heat of the moment. Apologizing also builds more trust and security to your relationship.
Have Date Nights.
Yup, you guessed it. Our go-to cure for 100% of couples we coach. Date nights are about rekindling the romance and friendship by building emotional intimacy. Get in the habit of scheduling weekly date nights. No talking about the wedding planning or your budget. Use our date night questions to spark great conversations. Date nights are nonnegotiable in marriage, so never stop dating each other.
A great marriage isn’t luck and doesn’t just happen, it requires effort and care to endure and evolve in ways that keep both partners fulfilled. The best time to build a healthy marriage is when you’re engaged! Begin implementing healthy habits that will last a lifetime and you won’t regret it.
Make sure to take the time and connect with your fiancé every single day. If you’re not sure how or where to start, pick up a copy of our book 365 Connecting Questions for Engaged Couples and let us help you get to know your partner in a new way by sparking conversations you didn’t know you should have.
Have you done any pre-marital counseling?
Do you feel like you’re prepared to do marriage well?
We can help.