Congratulations!
You’re engaged which means people are asking you a million questions about your wedding and honeymoon and the proposal. All of it’s exciting and a part of your love story that you’ll be looking back at for decades.
And while this season is very important, and time consuming, it cannot be your only focus. You are getting married and doing life with one person for the rest of your lives. So you have to prepare yourself for your future together. With that said, I wanted to share with you the best advice I received while engaged and wanted to pass it along to you. Are you ready for it?
If you want to make a better marriage, make a better you.
So what does “making a better you” that practically look like? Here are some tips:
Work on being more aware.
Self-aware people are better spouses. They know their likes, dislikes, strengths and growth areas. They are aware of why they do what they do and are constantly trying to improve their words, actions and attitude. Self-aware people are able to communicate clearly and have higher levels of confidence.
Be quick to apologize.
Since we all make mistakes, we can promise you that you will mess up in marriage. In fact, we can guarantee that you will hurt your spouse eventually. Usually it’s unintentional, but regardless, we have to master apologizing and owning our part in our marriage. Couples who know how to apologize the right way, yes there is a right way, are able to overcome any obstacle together and repair the relationship. If you want to learn more about apologizing, be sure to check out The Proper Apology video at Naked Conversations.
Learn how to communicate early and often.
We are so quick to jump to conclusions or even assume that our spouse should know what we’re feeling, why we’re feeling it and how to respond to us. The healthiest people are really clear and communicating their expectations and needs to their spouse early and often. They don’t sweep things under the rug or avoid difficult conversations. They choose courage and they choose to speak with love and understanding.
Choose love.
Making a better you means choosing love on the days where you don’t feel the butterflies and warm fuzzies. Marriage can become very routine and ordinary and there will be many opportunities for you to decide to love your spouse, even if they don’t deserve it or you don’t feel it.
Never stop dating your spouse.
Most of you have read this somewhere but it really is true. Dating your spouse works and keeps you connected emotionally. Something happens when you get married and things move at such a fast pace that it’s easy to go on auto-pilot and check out. That’s why scheduling a weekly date night is a non-negotiable in marriage. It doesn’t have to be fancy and expensive but the date needs to include laughter, fun, asking open ended questions and making new memories together.
