In my opinion, self-awareness is the number one attribute that makes someone healthy.

The more self-aware a person is, the better fiancé, friend, parent and co-worker they are. Self-awareness starts with self-reflection. Over time, you can build self-awareness by journaling through questions and truly getting curious about who you are… and if you’re okay with who you are.

To start, think through these 30 questions and your responses to them. I mean, truly study yourself and get honest about who you are.

• Do people generally enjoy spending time with me? (Or do they limit their time with me or make excuses about hanging out?)

• Do my friends often ask me for advice?

• Am I confident when I speak to others?

• Do my friends ask me for help when they are in a tough situation?

• Do my friends often call me and invite me to hang out with them before I reach out (or do I always have to initiate)?

• Do my loved ones often “sugarcoat” truths for me?

• Does my fiancé share their hopes, dreams, heartaches, and failures with me?

• Am I a safe person to share with in confidence, or do I enjoy gossip?

• Does it feel like people often walk on eggshells around me?

• Are there a lot of things on my to-do list that never get done?

• What is my top strength?

• What is my biggest weakness?

• Do I spend a lot of time trying to make myself a better person?

• Do I avoid conflict for the sake of “peace”?

• Am I quick to get angry? If so, do I take it out on others?

• Do I set boundaries around what is important to me, myself included?

• Do I frequently re-evaluate the boundaries I have set and make adjustments?

• Am I good at time management?

• Do I often try new things to expand my knowledge, perspective, understanding, tastes, or preferences?

• Do I embrace every new day as a new opportunity or do I stay stuck in the past?

• Do I allow past hurts to keep me from taking risks, loving others, or experiencing love?

• Am I able to get a good night’s rest or does my mind often race with anxiety at night? (If you lay awake often, this is a sign you to need to start journaling.)

• When faced with obstacles, do I push forward or just give up?

• Are my coping mechanisms healthy (meaning they help me face reality), or do I try to hide from reality?

• Do I spend time trying to improve my relationships?

• When I need help, am I able to ask for it or do I try to do too much by myself?

• Does change terrify or excite me?

• Do I respect others’ perspectives or do I minimize and put them down if they are not the same as mine?

• Is it easy for me to turn a bad day around or do I often stay upset for long periods of time?

• When someone lets me know that I have hurt them, am I quick to listen and try to understand or do I get defensive?

We cannot stress this enough: two healthy and self-aware people create a healthy marriage. If you or your fiancé do not have a high level of self-awareness, it’s time to be intentional with spending more time on learning about your feelings, personality, flaws, strengths, and responses to life’s most challenging situations and goals. Check out our free video “4 Qualities to look for in a Partner” to make sure both you and your future spouse have these 4 qualities!

Written by Anna Collins
Anna Collins lives in sunny Southern California with her husband and four children. She is passionate about her marriage, staying at home with her kids, writing, coffee, good conversation, and game night. Her life dream is to someday write a book and see it published.