THE VOWS HAVE BEEN EXCHANGED, THE GIFTS HAVE BEEN UNWRAPPED, THE HONEYMOON WAS A BLAST, AND THE THANK YOU NOTES HAVE BEEN WRITTEN…
…and still, regardless of how long you’ve been together, being married is different.
The first couple of years can be a challenge because learning how to do marriage the right way takes some trial and error. I don’t share this with you to make you second-guess your decision of saying I Do, but what I hope is that you have realistic expectations of each other, of yourself and of the newlywed season.
We asked our followers at MARRIAGE365 what their best advice for a newlywed couple would be and this is what they said:
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Always, no matter what, put your spouse and your marriage first!
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Remember that marriage is about commitment — not love. There will be plenty of days you don’t feel love and that’s when commitment steps in. And in commitment is where the best love stories are made.
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Communicate, communicate, communicate. As much as it hurts in the moment, as much as it feels easier not to, know that yourselves and your relationship will be ever stronger because you pushed through and shared your feelings.
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Enjoy sex! Make it a priority to learn all about each other’s body and pleasures.
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Look for and enjoy the little things and always be there for each other. Have each other’s backs!
Speak openly and honestly and remember to respect each other, always. You can be upset without being disrespectful.
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Having a happy marriage is a choice you have to proactively make every single day. Happy marriages don’t just happen!
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Stand close on the good days. Stand closer on the bad days.
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Understand that marriage is about falling in and out of love with the same person over and over again.
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It should always be the two of you against the world, not against each other!
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Stay teachable. Keep your spirits flexible to learn and change. Try to meet your spouse’s needs every day.
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Don’t watch porn! Not only is it addictive, but those images will always stay in your mind. It’s fantasy and will destroy your trust and intimacy.
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Read 365 Connecting Questions for Couples! Asking each other open-ended questions each day gets you talking on a heart-to-heart level.
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Sit down together and make a detailed monthly budget and STICK TO IT.
Think before you speak. Once something is out of your mouth, you can’t take it back.
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Never tell your friends and family anything bad about your spouse. They will only remember the bad and never the good. If you have to vent, see a counselor.
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If it won’t matter in 5 days, 5 months or 5 years, then let it go. Choosing your battles is crucial to merging two very different lives.
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Sometimes married sex is mind-blowing and sometimes it’s just alright. That’s normal. But sex is always an incredible way to express your love for each other.
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Work on establishing a routine together so the household runs smoothly. You must communicate in order to do this!
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Pray together in the bad times and in the good times.
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Invest in your friendship daily and never stop doing the things that make you like each other.
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Don’t spend money behind your spouse’s back. Money ruins relationships if you aren’t aware of what is happening with it. Be honest and true. Needs and wants, figure it out together.
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The silent treatment and avoiding the issues will not save your marriage!
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Learn to assume the best of your spouse and forgive without them asking or apologizing.
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Two emotionally healthy individuals make a healthy marriage so do whatever it takes to learn how to be a good spouse.
These first few years of your marriage will either make or break your relationship. Keep your marriage on the right track by becoming a member to Marriage365.
Written by Meygan Caston
Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365 and lives in Orange County California with her husband Casey and their two children. She loves the beach, dance parties, writing, spa days, and helping couples connect in their marriage. Her life-long dream is to walk the Camino, have lunch with Brené Brown and get on The Price is Right
