When the vows have been exchanged, and the gifts have been unwrapped, and the honeymoon was by far one of the best adventures you’ve taken together, the reality of being married and doing life together forever can really start to sink in.
Regardless of how long you’ve been together, being married is different. The first couple of years can be a challenge because learning how to do marriage the right way takes time. I don’t share this with you to make you second guess your decision of saying I do, but what I hope is that you learn that great marriages take effort and that you can absolutely have your happily ever after even after you wedding day is long gone.
We asked our followers at Marriage365 what their best advice would be for a newlywed couple and this is what they said:
- Always, no matter what, put your spouse and your marriage first!
- Remember that marriage is about commitment — not love. There will be plenty of days you don’t feel love and that’s when commitment steps in. And in commitment is where the best love stories are made.
- Communicate, communicate, communicate. As much as it hurts in the moment, as much as it feels easier not to, know that yourselves and your relationship will be ever stronger because you pushed through and shared your feelings.
- Look for and enjoy the little things and always be there for each other and have each other’s backs
Speak openly and honestly and remember to respect each other always. You can be upset without being disrespectful.
- Enjoy sex. Make it a priority to learn all about each other’s body and pleasures.
- Having a happy marriage is a choice you have to proactively make every single day. Happy marriages don’t just happen.
- Stand close on the good days. Stand closer on the bad days.
- It should always be the two of you against the world, not against each other!
- Stay teachable. Keep your spirits flexible to learn and change. Try to meet your spouse’s needs every day.
- Do not watch porn! Not only is it addictive, but those images will always stay in your mind. It’s fantasy and will destroy your trust and intimacy.
- Read 365 Connecting Questions for Couples! Asking each other open-ended questions each day gets you talking on a heart to heart level.
- Sit down together and make a detailed monthly budget and STICK WITH IT.
Think before you speak. Once something is out of your mouth, you can’t take it back.
- Never tell your friends and family anything bad about your spouse. They will only remember the bad and never the good. If you have to vent, see a counselor.
- If it won’t matter in 5 days, 5 months or 5 years, then let it go. Choosing your battles is crucial to merging two very different lives.
- Sometimes married sex is mind blowing and sometimes it’s just alright. That’s normal. Sex truly is an incredible way to express your love for each other.
- Work on establishing a routine together so the household runs smoothly. You must communicate in order to do this!
- Invest in your friendship daily and never stop doing the things that make you LIKE each other.
- Don’t spend money behind your spouse’s back. Money ruins relationships if you aren’t aware of what is happening with it. Be honest and true. Needs and wants? Figure it out together.
- The silent treatment and avoiding issues will not save your marriage!
- Learn to assume the best of your spouse and forgive without them asking or apologizing.
If you want to ensure that you will be healthy newlyweds, make sure you check out our online pre-marital course Happily Ever After!