Please ensure Javascript is enabled for purposes of website accessibility


18 Warning Signs of a Troubled Relationship

Every divorced client I have sat down with has said the same exact thing: “I saw the red flags and ignored them. If I could go back, I would.”

Warning signs are something to pay attention to, even if it means postponing your wedding. If you’re seeing some of the following warning signs in your relationship, get help with a counselor right away or talk it out with your fiancé(e) before your wedding.


  •  You find yourselves having the same arguments over the same things over and over again.

  •  You have nothing nice to say to one another. (Lots of name calling and negativity)

  •  One or both of you plays the victim during arguments. (No one takes responsibility)

  •  You can’t agree on goals and values in your relationship.

  • You don’t respect one another when communicating.

  • You feel suspicious often. (Checking phones and emails daily, lots of anxiety and trust issues)

  • You no longer have fun together. (No date nights)

  • No one apologizes for things. (You just keep blaming each other.)

  • One or both of you put your work first on a regular basis.

  • One or both of you are unwilling to seek help. (This typically stems from pride or minimizing that there is an issue.)

  • You don’t resolve fights. (There is a lot of rupture, but no repair.)

  • You discover your partner is lying about their money. (Debt, fraud, gambling)

  • Your fiancé(e) tries to isolate you from your family and friends.

  • One or both of you have considered being unfaithful or have been unfaithful – in person or online.

  • You don’t talk with one another about your problems.

  • You are happier when your fiancé(e) is away from home.

  • You feel criticized and put down by your partner frequently and this leaves you feeling less than “good enough.” (Conflict has turned to combat and it’s turned personal.)

  • You turn to porn or other means or substances to numb the pain from your relationship.

  • You are lonely even when your partner is in the same room.
    (You are living more like roommates.)

If your relationship has any of these warning signs, please don’t ignore or minimize them. Be proactive! Get help with our online premarital course, Happily Ever After, and make sure to watch our free video “4 Qualities to Look for in a Partner” so that you can make sure your relationship is on the right track.